Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.
… …
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down… and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device… a vibrator!

Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic.

“You impotent bastard,” She screamed at him, “how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!”

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:

“I’ll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids.

The post Fun Quote of the Day: Sex in the Dark and Sacrifices married people make for each other first appeared on Uganda Multimedia News & Information.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’
Puff! She’s gone.

‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’

Puff! He’s gone.

‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, ‘I want those two lazy bastards back in the office after lunch.’ 

Moral of the story: 
Always let your boss have the first say.

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She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’ 

Moral of the story: 
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

The post Fun Quote of the Day: How being knowledgeable about your wok is important first appeared on Uganda Multimedia News & Information.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’

‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies.

‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’ 

Moral of the story: 

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

The post Fun of the day: Why you should share critical information with your partner first appeared on Uganda Multimedia News & Information.