Thirty-eight-year-old Nanozi Sandra* welcomes me with a smile. She is carrying a child on her back as she weighs and packs up plastic bottles in a huge sack. She displays a face of resilience. Sandra is a single mother of five. She collects garbage which she later sells at a recycling plant.

Sandra was forced into marriage at the very tender age of 15 after she had been raped, she narrates nothing but a nightmare in marriage.

“Three years ago, I used to earn 80,000 (roughly $21) shillings at the salon. My husband would take all that I earned. I would be forced into sex. During my first encounter with this man I got pregnant, I was still young and knew little about sex, to make it worse my stepmother was such a fierce woman that I did not tell her what had happened. Instead, she would punish me as it is regarded immoral to talk about sex to anyone in our culture. That is why I escaped from home.”

“I lived on the streets of Kampala. With time I had to move into a stranger’s one-roomed house in Katanga one of Kampala’s biggest slums then. It was indeed not safe staying with a stranger but that was my only hope for shelter.”

The bad marriage

The stranger then became a husband who would take all she had leaving her penniless for several years. As the years went by, she had three other children to look after. “I didn’t know about family planning methods.”

Sandra’s lowest moment in her life that almost drove her to a mental breakdown was when her son, was kidnapped. This happened as the boy played outdoors. “This will forever remain on my mind!” she screams as tears roll down her eyes.

“I was tortured, beaten up for carelessness and often attacked by the child’s father, I had to run away from the marriage.”

Sandra escaped and sought shelter at a church, in Kampala called Mutundwe Christian Fellowship with her children where she got guidance and counselling from one of the pastors.

“After some time, I left the church. I started a new life. Since I had no source of income, I resorted to picking up plastic and selling it to recycling companies.”

“A few years later I was approached by a man who I thought loved me and promised to marry me but got very abusive.”

“He would slap me over a simple disagreement, hit me in front of our children. He hit my face until I had a dislocated jaw. This time he was arrested. He was later released on bail. I had to find my escape route with my children and went to stay further away from Kampala in Masaka.”

Uganda’s newly sworn-in human rights chairperson Jacklet Atuhairwe says, “women must always report gender-based violence cases to the police and get reference number. If the police fail to respond women should approach me and I will ensure that these cases are followed up and dealt with by the courts of law,” she says.

She adds that security amongst women and families is important for peace and development in a country and should therefore be ensured. “I call upon the Ugandan police to respond with urgency and tackle gender-based violence,” she says.

She goes on further to explain that according to the UN violence against women and girls is one of the most widespread, persistent and devastating human rights violations in our world today.

She also notes that it is a major obstacle to the fulfilment of women’s and girls’ human rights and the achievement of the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development. It occurs worldwide, cutting across all generations, nationalities, communities and spheres of our societies, irrespective of age, ethnicity, disability or other backgrounds.

She pointed out that gender-based violence has a great impact on peace at home and society in general.

Statistics from the Uganda National Bureau of Statistics show 17,664 domestic violence cases in 2020 went up by 29 per cent from 13,693 in 2019. 18,872 victims of domestic violence in 2020: 3,408 male adults, 13,145 female adults, 1,133 male juveniles and 1,186 female juveniles according to the annual police report on GBV and harmful practice of 2021.

She goes on further to call upon the government bodies in Uganda like the Judiciary to implement laws on gender-based violence to strengthen women’s peace and security in the country.

Fredrica Baguma the executive director Rural Health Promotion and Poverty Alleviation Initiative (RUHEPAI) noted that every individual’s abilities could be nurtured and enhanced with the right information and tools to attain economic transformation of their environment.

” Women form the most important parts of development and looking at their concerns leads to changes required for sustainable development,” she states adding that their programmes emphasise learning, actions and practices that derive to desirable livelihoods.

One of her programmes known as Kanyisa promotes increased farm yields and household income. Kanyisa is a local word which means “accumulate” It enables business initiation and enterprise development to enable grassroots women and girls to become self-reliant as owners of resources and this promote economic independence.  She believes economic independence gives control over their lives thus curbing abuse and promotes peace.

Her organisation also emphasises rural farmers’ resilience and adaptation to inclusive farming systems that advance climate-smart agriculture to attain food security for women and their households.

She also equips them with practical life survival skills with an emphasis on hairdressing and sweater knitting that lead them to gain the power to sustain their livelihoods and become self-reliant. These activities go a long way toward promoting equal rights

Domestic Violence is a silent killer! Women’s security depends on security in the home and protection from gender-based violence. This is why women’s empowerment is such a sustainable solution to gender-based violence in communities and enhances peace and security. This is because sustainable peace involves promoting equal rights plus prevention and response to gender-based violence.

*Names changed to protect the victim of rape

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Gender Based Violence is an umbrella term used to describe any harmful act that is perpetrated against a person’s will on the basis of unequal relations between women and men, as well as through abuse of power. GBV in particular, sexual and physical violence is widespread in Uganda and is mainly committed against women and girls.

Much as the girls and women are the common victims, it notes that it affects all people irrespective of their social, economic and political status because it occurs in families, communities, workplaces and institutions.

The Uganda Demographic and Health Survey (UDHS) 2011 indicate that 56% of women aged between 15 and 49 years in Uganda have experienced physical violence at some point in life, 28% of women in the same age group have experienced sexual violence, compared to 9% of men.

What GBV really is

Ali Male a counsellor at a-z counselling centre says people have a tendency of confusing gender based violence and restricting it to women being battered but they should know that it happens in several other ways that they need to identify in order to avoid being an ignorant victim.

“Gender based violence can be physical or psychological for instance being sexually harassed both at home and work, being denied the right to education, facing dangerous traditional practices, being forced into marriage, battering is the most evident one but this does not sum up the list since people should look out for what they do not agree with,” says Male.

Why it is still an issue

He says the biggest hindrance in curbing the issue is failure of the victims to come in the open to report the case and this is common with the corporate people who feel they will lose respect if they talk about it that is why much of the statistics shows that it is people in the rural areas who are victims.

Rosemary Komuhanda, a worker at MIFUMI says the mind-set is what has led to the prevalence of the crime because the society still believes that women are supposed to be subordinate to men and failure to do so leads to violence.

A photo of Angella Katatumba a Ugandan musician who was beaten at chicken tonight. Net photo

“When we speak about gender based violence, the women are the first victims to come to mind because they have been subjected to all kind of torture because of the gender inequalities that have stood in the way of the people trying to fight it,” says Komuhanda.

Just like Komuhanda, the ministry of gender report states that Uganda has a strong legislative and policy framework that supports gender equality and women’s empowerment, based on commitments under the Constitution well as other international obligations on gender equality. However, Ugandan society is characterized by strong patriarchal beliefs that value male supremacy and women’s subordination.

Komuhanda says this mostly happens in rural areas where people are still rigid to the old beliefs and men expect the women to do as they say without objecting to it.

What is being done by the authorities?

She says government and organisations are doing their level best to make sure that the victims have places they can seek help and refuge from which has enabled them to do follow ups and have the perpetuators answer for their actions something that has helped fight gender based violence.

She says much as the law is present, some other institutions have not helped fight the crime because there is a lot of corruption which in most cases favours the one who can pay for the services they need for instance Esther Okalany says she failed to get her share of property from her husband because she could not pay the required money for investigation and to date her husband is still possessing them.

She believes that he must have bribed the police personnel who have since then paid a deaf ear to her cries so all she has to do is collect the money so that the investigation can take place.

Photo of men charged of Sexual violence against women. Net Photo

Asan Kasingye, the assistant inspector general police says that the police is taking the matter seriously that is why most police stations have a department known as the sexual gender based violence and child protection unit which takes on the cases and does all the investigations.

He says if only the problem is solved then allot will be saved for instance the victims o through psychological torture, rejection, have physical effects, children suffer due to broken families, an individual may suffer rejection in the community which affects that peace and development of the individual.

He notes that it will take a collective effort for gender based violence to be erased in the country instead of leaving it to a specific section of the law.

A video analysing the rate of Gender based violence globally

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However, many do not realize it’s abusive until when it is already too late. Many are killed or kill their partners as the result of the depression and pressure that comes with the torture.

Some withstand the pain hoping a miracle would happen and things change for the better while others due to fear of the criticism that comes with a breakup.

Whether for children or your respect, no one deserves to be in an abusive relationship.

To think that a person you once cared for,  loved and cherished is the one inflicting such injuries and pain on you is, in its sense, traumatizing.

Accept the fact that he is not the person you really want to spend the rest of your life with and follow the tips below to break up from the relationship. 

1. Acknowledge the existence of abuse.

Victims tend to minimize the abuse. Abuse does not have to be physical. It is frequently emotional and/or psychological. You don’t have to wait for broken bones or a black eye before you consider it abuse. Yelling, name-calling, intimidation and threats are all forms of abuse. If you are forced to have sex without your consent, it is abuse and is sexual assault. Ask yourself: “Are you often walking on eggshells?” Keep in mind that most abusers are charming and apologetic after the abuse; there is a honeymoon period. Then predictably the tension builds followed by an explosion. Many women and men stay trapped in this cycle hoping that this time the abuse will stop.

2. Reach out for help.

Fortunately, there are many organizations (local and national) that specifically have the resources to help you. You are not alone! Your friends and family members are not necessarily the best people to help you. They mean well, but they could still be minimizing the abuse or you could jeopardize their safety by obtaining their help.

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224. They will refer you to the organization in your area. Many have emergency shelters that provide many resources. If you have children, they will be able to shelter them as well. They understand and will not judge you in your predicament. They provide individual and group therapy. They will help you with legal matters such as obtaining temporary restraining orders.

3. Use a safe computer.

The National Domestic Violence website warns users to use a safe computer not accessible to the abuser as computer usage can be monitored quite easily. The website has many resources. Yes, you need to take precautions so you can be safe before you leave this relationship.

The time to be most vigilant is when the abuser realizes that you are planning to leave him or her. Have a safety plan in place. The above-mentioned website has a section to help you make these plans.

4. Make every effort to address the underlying issues that led you to being in a dysfunctional relationship.

Did you have a childhood that led you to doubt your self-worth? Although men and women (heterosexual and homosexual) of many different cultural, racial, ethnic, educational, economic groups become victimized in abusive relationships, the common denominators are lack of self-esteem and self-love.

When we stay in these relationships, we become increasingly depressed; our self-esteem plummets further. The downward spiral must be interrupted by obtaining help. If you are depressed, you probably feel tired and indecisive. Your thoughts are negative, which furthers the depressive mood. It is easy to feel trapped and hopeless, but dig deep and look for that flicker of hope. It is there!

5. Get to the bottom of things.

Are you addicted to love or the feeling of being in love? Do you equate love with pain? Those of us who felt alone, alienated and unloved growing up tend to seek out relationships early in life. However, if our parents were in an unhealthy relationship, an abusive dynamic will feel familiar and comforting.

It is vital to acknowledge, explore and heal what led you to this pattern. Otherwise, you are doomed to repeat it. Take a break from relationships for a while. Taking the time to heal is so important. If you have children, they need time to recuperate from the trauma of witnessing abuse. It is normal for you to feel angry and sad, as well as regret that you left the abuser.

Don’t wait until you don’t feel anything to leave. As dysfunctional as it was, you cared about him or her. Surround yourself with support; find a therapist who can assist you in rebuilding your self-esteem, and start rebuilding your life.

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Photo by Jovaughn Stephens on Unsplash

8th March is celebrated world over as the International Women’s day. This year’s celebration is coming in the wake of an eventful year. It has been revealed that the gender gap, the gap between men and women across health, education, politics and economics, has widened, the #MeToo movement has started, encouraging millions to speak up against sexual violence and harassment, and Times Up , another movement calling for something to be done against sexual assault, harassment and inequality in the workplace has been established.

This year’s International Women’s Day campaign theme is Press for Progress because now, more than ever, there’s a strong call-to-action to press forward and progress gender parity.

Many issues have caused women to continually come second place after men. One of the reasons hurting women is domestic violence. The United Nations Sustainable Development Goals (SDG)addresses this.

Eliminate all forms of violence against all women and girls in the public and private spheres, including trafficking and sexual and other types of exploitation. — SDG Target 5.2

Global statistics

The UN states that violence against women and girls violates their human rights and hinders development. Sexual violence is widespread across the globe with women making up 47% of homicide victims worldwide intentionally killed by an intimate partner.

Where Uganda stands

The 2016 Uganda Demographic Health Survey (UDHS) covers household and respondent characteristics, fertility and family planning, infant and child health and mortality, maternal health and maternal and adult mortality, child and adult nutrition, malaria, HIV/AIDS, disability, road traffic accidents, child discipline, early childhood development and domestic violence. This latest of the surveys notes that in Uganda, domestic violence is widely acknowledged to be of great concern. Domestic violence is a human rights problem, an economic problem as well as a health problem.

Domestic violence has many names including sexual violence, spousal violence and intimate partner violence. In Uganda women are more than twice as likely to experience domestic violence as men.

More than 1 in 5 women age 15–49 (22%) report that they have experienced sexual violence at some point in time compared with fewer than 1 in 10 (8%) men. Domestic violence has been found higher in rural areas than in the urban. This is a country problem.

The highest number of reported cases for women is found in Bukedi region with 39.8% and South Central for men at 12.5%. Unfortunately not all incidences are reported; the report found that women age 15–19, women in urban areas and those never married women are less likely to report domestic violence.

Education level is a factor too with lower incidences of domestic violence reported in persons with secondary education and higher.

Domestic violence numbers are still very high in the nation and this should be addressed. Regional statistics show us where to concentrate awareness campaigns; education statistics tell us that the numbers can be greatly reduced by pushing for women to stay in school longer — the list goes on. Uganda cannot be left behind where progress is concerned. Domestic violence hurts the victims in particular and the nation as a whole.The masses should be empowered to reduce the prevalence of domestic violence. We have to #PressforProgress.

This article first appeared in the Daily Monitor

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A call to stop domestic violence in Uganda by CARE Uganda

One evening I was going to visit my friend in Kiwatule, there were no taxis available so I decided to grab a boda boda from my home in Namungogo. We were riding as well as having a conversation with the Boda man.

As we were  conversing, suddenly a topic about men and women begun and he told me his wife disrespected him and he cannot wait to go home discipline her and demand respect. As he emphasized “since am the man of the house.”

Just for clarity I asked him, “Do you beat your wife?” and he answered vividly “Yes! She has to respect me because am the man of the house and the only time  it sinks in her head is when she gets a beating.”

I had to take a deep breath and stopped talking for a while, I couldn’t believe this young man, he was planning on going home after work to beat his wife just because she made a mistake.

This woman though I did not meet her was and is a victim of Domestic violence.

In Uganda, women are too often abused by the husbands. This treatment has become rampant, where by too many women in Uganda are being misused and then abandoned by their husbands according the Police crime registry.

While the government and a number of NGOs have made a number of interventions to eradicate this vice, gender-based violence still manifests itself in Uganda at a very high rate.

Gender-based violence in the country is a result of power inequalities powered by discrimination based on gender and is now more than ever entrenched in the social beliefs, systems, perceptions, attitudes about women and men and their roles in society. It includes domestic violence, violence against women, men and sexual-based violence.

According to research in Uganda several districts in Uganda especially Rakai, Mbale, Maracha, Busoga and northern Uganda sub-regions recorded the highest number of domestic violence against girls and women, though Kampala registers 6%. Therefore its upon this background that we need to not only implement actions to end violence against women in rural areas but to also include urban dwellers in the mix.

In urban areas, Take the city of Kampala for example, where almost half of women have experienced partner violence. “Men need to use violence to discipline their wives,” is a common view. “A man beating his wife is a sign that he loves her,” is another. Therefore many interventions that need to be done in urban cities just like in rural areas.

There is need to strengthen  the duty bearers’ capacities to address gender based violence. many duty bearers opt to learn more about human rights in relation to gender based violence, GBV forms, causes and effects , roles and responsibilities of duty bearers in addressing GBV and others. Different  guidelines and clear roles to end this vice should be given to the stake holders. Community development officers, police officers and local councils should have their roles clearly stated.

Violence against women is deeply rooted in the unequal poer relations between men and women and we have seen many of these cases rising up not only in rural areas but urban areas as well. Therefore the long term solutions to prevent and respond to it must include the participation of men and boys.

Mr . Byamugisha CEO ambrosoli consult Uganda “Strategies to prevent and respond to the violence should include dialogue between men and women as well as boys and girls with the view to changing the cultural, social, economic, and religious systems and structures that hinder human rights and equality between women and men.

Existing efforts to involve men and boys in fighting the violence should be encouraged and be taken into account in prevention and response activities.”

 In a statement made by US ambasoddor Deborah Molac in 2017, where i agree with her, “We won’t solve the problem by simply making this a “women’s issue,” which often becomes code for doing little more than talking about the issue with few resources attached.  Stopping gender-based violence is and must be an issue for everyone, men and boys included.  We need to support the future of Uganda’s young women by not only teaching men and boys gender equality, but also by investing in girls’ education. When girls stay in school longer, they are less likely to contract HIV, have lower pregnancy rates, and are often less vulnerable to domestic violence.”

Women fear taking their cases to court due to their cultural background that does not encourage them to address relevant issues through courts. Even those who overcome the fear face the challenge of costly legal assistance. Whereas many discriminatory laws have been made, difficulties persist in that people are not informed about the gender sensitive laws that have been enacted, nor are they informed about their rights under these laws.

A significant number of gender discriminatory laws have been revised, although not exhaustively, but their dissemination needs to cover the entire nation. Different influencing factors have been identified, including poverty, ignorance, religious beliefs, and consumption of alcohol, among others.

Violence against women in Uganda, especially in urban areas like Kampala and other towns, is becoming more of human rights concern.

Females experience brutal acts and while many legal instruments and policies have been passed to curb the violence, the vice continues. It is against this background that gender-based violence among not only the rural areas but also urban towns in Uganda is reaching unacceptable proportions. Under the circumstances, something should be done to address the situation.

OTHER OFFENSES AGAINST WOMEN AND GIRLS AND THE RATE ACCORDING TO THE POLICE REPORT OF 2016

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Reports available at kamuli general hospital indicate that the teenage pregnancy has moved from 24% to 25% among the adolescent girls in this district.

The Project officer of the Forum for African Women Educationalists – Uganda Chapter in kamuli district,  Ms. Jackline Nafuna Wodenga, while speaking at a national level reflection meeting with MPS and civil servants on woman related laws organized by plan international and Uganda women parliamentarian Association held at Eureka hotel in Ntinda,kampala.

Ms.Nafuna said that about 7026 girls between 10-19 years in kamuli district since 2016 have attended antenatal clinic in kamuli hospital and 45 of them tested Hiv positive.

She also reported that domestic violence is increasing in this district yet it’s the leading cause of teenage pregnancy.

A girl child who is a member of  Kamuli Girls’ Rights Club Suzan Bwana  asked members of  parliament to find better solution to increasing defilement cases against girls.

Amoding

The chairperson of the Uganda women parliamentarian Association who is also the woman mp for kumi district Monica Amoding called upon women movement in the country to probe the factors that have led to increase in defilement cases in the communities despite the efforts the civil society organizations and government have intensified against this practice which is affecting girls.

RELATED: Teenage pregnancy still major contributor to population growth in Uganda

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Speaker of Parliament Rebecca Kadaga

The Speaker of Parliament, Rebecca Kadaga, has called upon Members of Parliament to consider re-table the pending bills related to protection of children and women.

The pending bills include the Sexual Offences bill and Marriage and Divorce bill.

Kadaga was addressing a dialogue on ending gender based violence and HIV/Aids organized by the Uganda Women Parliamentary Association at imperial Royale in Kampala.

She expressed concern over the high rates of sexual defilement in schools perpetuated by teachers which violates children’s rights.

RELATED: Parliament to probe police over rearrests

She also decried incest cases rise among fathers who are defiling their daughters.

Kadaga said that it’s high time to name and shame the sexual offenses culprits in public.

The Speaker also accused mothers of contributing to the defiling of the girl child by sending them to markets at late hours as well as walking them long distances which culminates into defilement.

The Chairperson of the Uganda Women Parliamentary Association Monica Amoding said that if the Sexual offence Bill is enacted into law, it will end sexual offences against girls and women.

The executive Director Uganda Network on Law and Ethics (UGANET), Helen Kiconco called upon   MPs to legislate on Laws that will help to defend the plight of women.

ALSO READ: Parliament to pay MP Zaake’s medical bills

The Marriage and Divorce bill seeks to prohibit widow inheritance, grants certain rights to cohabiting couples and equalizes prejudiced divorce provisions which granted absolute rights to men. It was designed in part, to improve women’s rights in marriages and to reform and consolidate the laws relating to marriage, separation and divorce.

Tabled as the Domestic Relations Bill, in 2003, the draft was rejected by the Muslim community opposed to the provisions banning polygamy. After being rejected by Parliament in 2006, the bill was split into a Muslim Personal Law Bill, which covers Muslim marriages, and the Marriage and Divorce Bill for the other religious denominations.

The drafts were however shelved following wide condemnation from a section of religious leaders and members of the public arguing that the proposals within were alien to the African culture.

Some of the controversial proposals include among others, those that pertain to bride price, a customary practice requiring payment of consideration by a groom to his wife’s family. The current Marriage and Divorce Bill states that bride price cannot be treated as a prerequisite for marriage, and makes criminal the act of demanding repayment of bride price.

RELATED: Parliament to re-table Marriage and Divorce Bill

ALSO READ: Women MPs vow to ensure passing of Marriage and Divorce Bill

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Member of Parliament for Nakaseke County North, Hajat Syda Bumba

The Member of Parliament for Nakaseke County North, Hajat Syda Bumba, recently stunned fellow MPs when she told the house that there are a number female MPs being buttered by their husbands over their failure to surrender their monthly earnings.

Bumba made this revelation while contributing to a debate that urged government to come up with stringent measures in protecting girls and women against domestic and sexual violence.

“Infact as we speak, some of our members in this house are being buttered by their husbands because they refuse to give them the money that they earn as MPs. So as we debate this issue, we have silent victims here who fear to disclose but when they are taken to private counseling sessions, you will be shocked on what they will reveal,” Bumba said without elaborating further.

She added that this practice is not only for village women but even those in offices.

Bumba, however, also mentioned that men are also beaten by their wives but for them can easily run away from homes and take refugee with their other mistresses unlike women.

She said that all these problems of violence is caused because the breakdown of family system and some women being desperate for love from their husbands.

Bumba said some communities still have the traditional belief that when a woman is not battered, she is not loved by her husband.

Gilbert Olanya, the Kilak South MP, confirmed with Bumba that indeed some cultures still believe that a woman should be battered as a sign of love from her husband.

“Infact if there husband doesn’t better her in their marriage, she will run away because they think that it’s a sign of love,” Olanya said.

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Uganda’s Chief Justice, Bart Katureebe.

Women rights activist are set to petition the Chief Justice, Bart Katureebe, over what they say are existing loopholes in plea bargain process and its execution.

Early this year the judiciary introduced plea bargain as a means of reducing case backlog.

However, according to Richard Makumbi, a Program officer at the Center for Domestic Violence Prevention (CEDIVOP), many sexual offenders have been awarded weaker sentences through this mutual arrangement which has encouraged re-occurrence of the same.

Prisoners basking in the sun in Luzira.

He explained that as mitigation measures, they are compiling a list of such cases which they will present to the CJ, demanding urgent review of this program in light of gender based violence.

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Hon.Komuhangi (right) holding a meeting together with the Leader of Opposition, Hon. Winnie Kizza.

Hon. Margaret Komuhangi, the Parliamentary chairperson on Gender, Labour and Social Development says government needs to do more to ensure that youths access services for development.

She says although projects such as the youth livelihood programme is making a difference in creating employment, there is still a lot to be done in order for them to fully live a meaningful life.

Komuhangi made the remarks on Tuesday 26, 2016, while meeting a delegation of women members of parliament from the Namibian who are in Uganda on a fact finding mission on how they can engage women and youth to fight poverty.

She revealed that every district in Uganda has benefited from youth livelihood funds and that there were still more funds available for youth to access.

Komuhangi also said that the gender parity percentage for women should be increased to 50 percent moving from the current 45 percent.

She added that although women are politically and economically empowered, there is still domestic violence and that the national budget allocation is still not equitably distributed for women benefit fully.

Agness Limbo, the Nambian legislator who led the group told the Ugandan couterparts Namibia intends to use Uganda’s acquaintance so as to help Namibian women and youth improve on their lives.

She said their visit is aimed at drawing lessons and best practices from Uganda’s approach of empowering youth and women in development.

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